My Best Friend

2016

 

She’s my best friend but nobody seems to see her

She started to always be here

Always on my side

She whispers harsh words that crawled under my skin and found their home

She held me tightly in a grip that used to be friendly but now remains unbearable

She controls my every word

Every move

She left for a month,

I felt safe,

Warm,

Calm.

But she came back.

She came back with someone new.

Someone blue.

Someone who decided they liked me much more.

He held my throat more than she did.

He always stayed around

He never left,

I assumed she got jealous and left

She only comes whenever he needs her

She only comes when the night has come and the sun has vanished

He stays

He never leaves

He never lets me breath

He won’t let me be me

He controls my every move

I took them to a doctor, a shiny table and a shimmering ceiling

The doctor seemed to know their names

Seemed to be able to see them

I never named them

I couldn’t

But they could

He opens his lips and keeps a gentle pause

Anxiety and depression.

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